You Will Have Plenty of Things to Do In Retirement. Here’s How to Find Joy
You don’t have to look hard to find quite a few lists of “things to do in retirement” or advice on “retirement hobbies”. There are endless possibilities. Most advice or suggestions are given with good intention. However the truth is, nobody can tell you what you should be doing. There is good reason for that. Retirement means gaining ownership of your time.
For many people this is the main reason for retiring. For some, it is also part of their retirement fears. Prioritizing activities and scheduling your life can feel like a big chore. In fact, if it doesn’t feel like a challenge then you are probably either naturally proactive (hooray!) or maybe missing a piece of the puzzle.
Many people avoid the task of choosing by filling their time with default activities. They say yes to whatever is asked of them or they fill their time with more of their previous leisure activities. These are not necessarily the wrong things to be doing. It’s just important to make sure you are actually choosing them. It doesn’t matter what you do with your time as long as you are choosing to do things that are meaningful to you. Joy comes from feeling good about the way that you are living your life. It comes from engaging with the world in a way that is positive and meaningful.
Let’s talk about Robert for a minute. Robert had a successful career in sales. For many years he enjoyed golfing and going to a sports bar with friends and coworkers. When he retired he was excited about playing more golf and having more leisure time. For a time that is exactly what he did. He played a round of golf about once or twice a week and he enjoyed watching multiple sporting events and sports talk shows on TV. He also frequently met up at a local sports bar with friends. He was enjoying the slower pace of life which was dramatically different from his prior working life.
“Robert had a successful career in sales.“
After a while his wife began to express some concerns about how much he was drinking and they often bickered about household chores. This began taking a toll on their marriage. His home life became unpleasant and since he was at home most of the time, the experience was amplified. Robert gradually became more and more irritable and even his favorite leisure activities became less pleasurable.
Eventually, his family convinced him to seek counseling for his excessive drinking. Faced with ultimatums he begrudgingly participated. Fortunately, Robert had a really positive experience in counseling. He was able to discover that he had lost his sense of purpose in life. Additionally, his current habits and routines had led to a less healthy lifestyle which was impacting both his physical and mental health.
Robert took time to do some soul-searching and to figure out what he wanted his retirement life to be about. He developed a weekly routine which included going to the gym and the driving range in addition to his weekly golf game. He also chose some chores and additional responsibilities around the house which added structure to his everyday life and had a positive impact on his marriage. Additionally, he decided to participate in picking up his grandchild from school once a week. He was pleasantly surprised by how much joy these outings brought him. He found that he was making a positive impact in his grandson and his daughter’s life by being involved in this way. Robert’s retirement life became about staying healthy so that he could continue to do the things he enjoyed and also be a productive member of his family, and a positive influence for his grandchild. Robert’s new retirement life brought him joy.
Eventually, his family convinced him to seek counseling for his excessive drinking. Faced with ultimatums he begrudgingly participated. Fortunately, Robert had a really positive experience in counseling. He was able to discover that he had lost his sense of purpose in life. Additionally, his current habits and routines had led to a less healthy lifestyle which was impacting both his physical and mental health.
Robert took time to do some soul-searching and to figure out what he wanted his retirement life to be about. He developed a weekly routine which included going to the gym and the driving range in addition to his weekly golf game. He also chose some chores and additional responsibilities around the house which added structure to his everyday life and had a positive impact on his marriage. Additionally, he decided to participate in picking up his grandchild from school once a week. He was pleasantly surprised by how much joy these outings brought him. He found that he was making a positive impact in his grandson and his daughter’s life by being involved in this way. Robert’s retirement life became about staying healthy so that he could continue to do the things he enjoyed and also be a productive member of his family, and a positive influence for his grandchild. Robert’s new retirement life brought him joy.
A joyful retirement is one full of purpose. This type of joy is distinct from the emotion that we call happiness. It is derived from within. Other emotions flow through us constantly and are based on our response to the world around us. They are part of how our brain processes and stores information. It is normal and healthy to experience a wide variety of emotions. In fact, if we focus too much on seeking happiness, we often end up dissatisfied. We have very little control of the world around us, but we do have choices about how we engage with it. Joy is something we can create.
“A joyful retirement is one full of purpose.“
Seeking joy is an entirely different mission. It is about feeling fulfilled and satisfied with our progress as an individual. Joy helps us endure the inevitable hardships and struggles of life because it connects them with meaning and purpose. To be human is to struggle sometimes, to be challenged and to experience the full spectrum of emotions. Retirement is not devoid of hardships. Life continues just as it did before, you just have more choices about how you want to be involved.
What you need is more than just a schedule of events or a bucket list of things you always wanted to do. You need to create an intention. You need to have a goal or purpose for your activities. Even something as simple as “being a loving family member and positive role model for my community” or “being adventurous and sharing my love of learning”. These can begin to give you some direction. A plan of action will then follow more naturally. You will find yourself feeling content because your work, your rest and your leisure time are part of your plan. They represent who you are in the world right now.
If you are busy searching for “retirement activities” or “fun things to do in retirement” you may be missing the point. Retirement is not a vacation from your working life, it is simply a new stage. It will be full of all the same ups and downs and daily rhythms, just minus the 9-5 focus. The challenge of thriving in this next chapter is about discovering your own purpose. You must seek opportunities for work, leisure and rest that support your personal mission. You will find joy in your life when you make choices based on your own values.
What you need is more than just a schedule of events or a bucket list of things you always wanted to do. You need to create an intention. You need to have a goal or purpose for your activities. Even something as simple as “being a loving family member and positive role model for my community” or “being adventurous and sharing my love of learning”. These can begin to give you some direction. A plan of action will then follow more naturally. You will find yourself feeling content because your work, your rest and your leisure time are part of your plan. They represent who you are in the world right now.
If you are busy searching for “retirement activities” or “fun things to do in retirement” you may be missing the point. Retirement is not a vacation from your working life, it is simply a new stage. It will be full of all the same ups and downs and daily rhythms, just minus the 9-5 focus. The challenge of thriving in this next chapter is about discovering your own purpose. You must seek opportunities for work, leisure and rest that support your personal mission. You will find joy in your life when you make choices based on your own values.
If you are beginning to think seriously about retirement check out this webinar- Beginning Your Next Chapter: How to Become A Highly Successful Retiree
Or if you are retiring soon and you are ready to make a plan, you can sign up to- Create Your Personalized Retirement Life Plan in 4 Weeks
Or if you are retiring soon and you are ready to make a plan, you can sign up to- Create Your Personalized Retirement Life Plan in 4 Weeks
Written by Michelle Ellisor
Inspiring people to thrive in life and retirement
Michelle is a Certified Professional Life Coach with a Masters Degree in Counseling.